MOVIE REVIEW: Cowboys & Aliens (2011)

A Cowboys & Aliens Recap

Wrote by JPG and Essie

JPG: Hey everybody, JPG (Just Plain Gordo) here to talk about what was to be one of the bigger summer blockbuster movie events, Cowboys & Aliens.  With me today is the beautiful Essie, who will help me break down what I think is actually a big disaster.  So, tell me Essie, what are your first initial thoughts sitting there as the credits roll and you look at me?

Essie: Hiya, everyone. For this movie, the word that comes to mind is disappointment. 

JPG: Yeah, disappointment is one word that comes to mind myself, but I also was thinking "wow, this could have been so much more."  I think we both agree that this was a decent movie with flaws.  I also think we were both really liking it until the M. Night Shyamalan-like twist happened in the middle of the movie.  Before we get into that train wreck and the rest of the movie, what things did you like about the movie?  First thing that jumps off to me: design-wise and costumes, everything was pretty spot on. I mean, they have the beautiful Olivia Wilde on this thing and they made her character Ella completely plain in that dress and for most of the movie.

Smackdown Central: Between the Blue Ropes

A wrestling review by KC

The story so far:  Mark Henry has been on a tear lately, injuring the Big Show at the Money in the Bank PPV and last week Kane.  The story going into this episode is that new WWE COO (Chief Operating Officer) Triple H is going to confront Henry on his brutal ways.

Smackdown July 29, 2011 episode: 

The show which was recorded in Philadelphia opens with Triple H coming to the ring wearing a nice business suit with a power red tie and imitating Vince McMahon’s strut.  The crowd is on their feet while Triple H begins his speech.  He mentions that the WWE Championship on Raw is a more complicated situation since there are now two champions.  He said that he resigned Punk late Monday night and says there will be a decision next week about the future of the WWE title.

WEBCOMIC: gRAVEL #1

COMIC REVIEW: FF #7

FF #7

I have very weird dreams. 

I have one dream which I have dreamed multiple times over the years.  Now, I don’t know how common reoccurring dreams are, and I’m pretty damn not sure what THIS particular dream even means.  I could go see a psycho analyst, dream interpreter.  But, that would totally take the fun and mystery out of my own dream.

At any rate, every now and then I dream I’m stuck in space in this cosmic epic battle between David Bowie and Ziggy Stardust.  Yep.  You can tell from that sentence right there, I’ve got some epic, deep rooted issues that will be coming to the forefront. 

EDITORIAL: Procrastination: It’s What’s for Dinner

Procrastination:  It’s What’s for Dinner

An Editorial by KC

I graduated from college this past May, and as I look back and reflect I wonder just how the hell I did it!  I know that most of the articles and pieces that you find on this site are pop culture related, but I also think that life improvement is an important service that we might extend to our wonderful readers.  It is a desire to improve that has led Junior and the (formerly) Amazing Gordo to partake in a competition, The Weight Loss Challenge of 2011 (and you know that you will be telling your children and great grandchildren about this historic event.)  So inspired by the dedication of these two, and having missed two huge deadlines for this website, I have decided to write about an old enemy of mine…procrastination.

COMIC REVIEW: Detective Comics #880

Detective Comics #880

A Comic Review by David Gordon

Sometimes in life, it is VERY good to get kicked squarely in between the legs.  It’s been two week. TWO!  Almost not enough time to recover from the ball smashing, ass kicking I received from Detective Comics #879 (reviewed here!).  But, here I am again, writing a review for Detective Comics #880.

Scott Snyder has hands down jumped to the forefront of my favorite writers.  And I was honest with you two weeks ago, I haven’t really even read much from him.  I believe this is just the fourth book and I’m amazed to no end.  There are athletes out there, who have a Pete Rose syndrome and go all out for every game.  Guy Lafleur (that’s a hockey player for the unknowing) once said “play every game as if it is your last” and to me Scott Snyder puts as much character and story into each book as if it is his last book.  I love that.

EPISODE 8 - "What's his name? That pedophile in me..."

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THIS WEEK'S TOPICS:

·         Amy Winehouse

·         Tragedy in Norway

·         Movie Trailers

o    The Amazing Spiderman

o    The Dark Knight Rises

o    Rise of the Planet of the Apes

o    Cowboys and Aliens

·         A brief return of “The All Knowing” Earl the Magnificent”

NOTES:

Continue to Send in votes for Gordo’s new name to bewareofpodcast@gmail.com

CREDITS:

“Rockout!” by Brothermaniac (Brothermaniac.net) 

"Huka Blues" by Harry Slash & the Slashtones from ECW: Extreme Music

MOVIE REVIEW: Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

Captain America: The First Avenger

Captain America: The First Avenger

A Film Review by David Gordon

Time.

Time is one of the most wonderful concepts that, as man, we have and can use at our leisurely expense.  There is thought that things get better with time, like wine.  Or, responding to an email immediately after you have been fueled with any kind of emotion like telling your boss to kiss off after she tells you, you need to be more mature and remember that there is a time and a place to say things.  See, if you just wait till the next day, you won’t send that emotionally fueled email.  You will have time to reflect.  Time to save your job.

Wait, where was I?  Oh yes, time.  And time is exactly what I needed to write this review after watching Captain America: The First Avenger.  Because, if you were reading this, this Saturday afternoon, you probably would have been reading a gushing review calling this movie the best comic book movie of all time.  It hit on all the sweet spots of what makes a great superhero movie.  Comedy, action, suspense, romance, wait… I’m getting off track.  This is what I was trying to avoid using time…

Don’t get me wrong.  Cap does all that and then some.  It was indeed a good movie.  But, with a little reflection, I can see the faults the movie has.  Maybe faults are too harsh of a word, but things I’m definitely nit picking on.

MOVIE REVIEW: True Grit

True Grit (2010)

A Film Review by Junior Bruce

I love me a good western.  Always have.  From watching Nobody make a living legend out of Jack Beauregard in "My Name is Nobody," to fantasizing about being an old west outlaw taking on the Murphy Gang alongside Billy the Kid in "Young Guns," westerns have made up a significant portion of my movie watching years.  So when something like "True Grit" comes lumbering down the trail, you know my goose-pimples are reaching for the sky like a rustler staring down the barrel of a Rooster Cogburn held pistol!

"True Grit" is a Coen Brothers remake of a classic starring John Wayne.  Of course, as of this writing, I've yet to see the original, so I can't (and won't) be making any comparisons.  What I will tell you, however, is that of the westerns that I have seen, this movie is one of the most authentic.  Not that I've spent a day in the old west, because time travel hasn't been invented yet, but if I had to hold one movie up as a mirror to match what I think is accurate, "True Grit" is getting the nod.

MOVIE REVIEW: Despicable Me (2010) ****

Review:

While it's true that Disney's Pixar has been setting the standard for great CGI films for more than a decade now, the thought of them being the only game in town when it comes to creating quality CGI product is slowly beginning to change.  In the last couple of years DreamWorks Animation has really been upping their game with films like "Kung Fu Panda," "How to Train Your Dragon," and "Megamind." And now Universal Animation Studios has officially thrown their hat into the ring with "Despicable Me." (Y'know, because everyone has forgotten about "The Tale of Despereaux," which is exactly how Universal wants it.)

"Despicable Me," is the story of Gru (voiced by Steve Carell), a gangly bald and black clad super-villain with dreams of being regarded as the world's greatest bad guy.  Unfortunately for Gru, he's somewhat inept.  It's not that he doesn't have the tools, because he does.  For starters he has the look down pat, he has his own army of loyal minions, he has an evil scientist down in the lab creating all he can dream up, hell…he's even got a weird Eastern European accent!  The one thing Gru doesn't possess, however, is the ability to think BIG.

After news breaks that a giant Egyptian Pyramid has been stolen, and replaced with a big inflatable one, Gru is met with pity from his evil scientist, Dr. Nefario (voiced by Russell Brand), and is mocked by his mother (voiced by Julie Andrews).  This certainly isn't the sort of treatment the world's greatest bad guy should receive!  But Gru has a plan to change all that: He's going to steal the moon!

COMIC REVIEW: Herc # 5 *****

Herc #5

“Oh my god.  I’m going to die with nerds.” 

And with one line, I giggled way too much and knew that Herc #5  was my favorite book of the week.  

Fear itself has actually turned into a fun little event series running through the Marvel Universe.  I always fear that universe spanning story lines will fall flat on its face, but when you have the right creators on books, they can take anything and spin it into a wonderfully woven tale of awesome sauce. 

EPISODE 7 - Learn Magic Gordo

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THIS WEEK'S TOPICS:

· Introductions
· Special Guest Jeff Hart, Editor and Chief of Cultureblues.com
· What are we drinking?
· The guys discuss the final results of Cultureblues.com 90's Movies BadAss tournament
· Netflix price hike
· Google+
· Harry Potter Mania 
· And oh, so much more!

NOTES:

· Continue to Send in votes for Gordo’s new name to bewareofpodcast@gmail.com

CREDITS:

· "Rockout!" by Brothermaniac (Brothermaniac.net)· "Huka Blues" by Harry Slash & the Slashtones from ECW: Extreme Music

Thanks for listening!

BoPN Presents: Wrestling War Room - Episode 1

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The Beware of Podcast Network Presents: The Wrestling War Room w/ KC & Dr. Love! On this premiere episode the guys discuss the WWE Money in the Bank PPV, a match-by-match breakdown of the show, along with thoughts on where stories may go from here.  

So lace up those boots and be ready to run the ropes, because opinions are about to fly!

COMIC REVIEW: July 13 Quick Hit List

Punisher Max #15

Along with my weekly full review (as seen by here), I’ll be giving you all an extra gift each week of some quick hits on ten randomly selected books, I additionally read from the week.  They are not full reviews but just some initial impressions of what I was thinking while reading them.  Some weeks, there may not even be ten but I’ll never go over ten. 

So, without further ado, I give you my quick initial impressions of ten randomly selected books.

FEATURE: Avengers Trailer leaked!

Holy moley, my inner dork was screaming out when I saw this trailer.  You'll have to forgive the quality but there is still enough there to see and pretty much increase hype by 1000.  We'll keep this link video posted as long as it is not pulled. 

EDIT:

Looks like the original link is dead.  Marvel, it would seem, wants to keep the lid on it still.  Which is a shame.  I say start the hype train now.

EDITORIAL: Being a “Muggle” in a Fake Wizards World

Being a “Muggle” in a fake wizards world

An Editorial by KC

I never really got the hype behind Harry Potter.  To me it seemed like a children’s book that I wasn’t really interested in reading.  Maybe if I was from a different generation I would be able to get behind them, but as it is I didn’t really care about the boy who went to wizard school and played flying broom related sports. 

This weekend I have never felt like more of an outsider than ever.  With all the hype and hoopla for the new and “final” Harry Potter movie my social networking feeds have been filled with people excited to see the climax of the story.  It’s interesting to me also that the book series has been out so people should pretty much know how it ends, but I guess that’s beside the point.  It seems the important thing about this series is how closely they stay to the book or something like that.  As you can tell, I really haven’t been paying attention.

MOVIE REVIEW: House of the Rising Sun (2011) **

Review:
Dave Bautista is about as good at acting as he is professional wrestling…he's great when just asked to stand around and look menacing, but if you ask him to talk or emote, you're asking too much.

"House of the Rising Sun" is the story of Ray (played by Bautista), a crooked cop who spent six years in prison before being hired as security at a brothel/illegal casino fronting as a nightclub upon his release.  One night, while Ray is covering the door for his buddy who no-showed his shift, a pack of shotgun toting thugs instruct him to lead them to the vault or he'll have to talk to the boom stick.  Ray, ever the cool cat, calmly leads the masked thugs to the vault…so calmly, no suspicions are aroused despite walking through a busy nightclub environment.  Anyway, the thugs get their money, but while Ray is leading them out, the owner's kid sees the thugs and proceeds to shout at the top of his lungs, "OMG! THEY'VE GOT SHOTGUNS!" (paraphrasing)

ARTICLE: Does CM Punk Deserve to Win the WWE Championship?

After the June 27^th edition of WWE’s flagship show Raw, the internet wrestling community was electrified by the strange promo that CM Punk cut on John Cena at the end of the show.  In WWE, sports entertainment has focused significantly more on the entertainment aspect of pro wrestling and the sports aspect has been lost in the process.  In a world where everyone knows the outcomes are predetermined, there isn’t much to get too excited about. 

Until...

COMIC REVIEW: Detective Comics #879

I like to think I like comics.  Sometimes, however, I forget to try new things and new writers from time to time.  As a regular Joe, I do not have an unlimited source of income that I can just buy everything and hope I like it.  I have to be picky.  I have to be deliberate.  I have to make sure, that I don’t go over my budget each week.  So, when creators move onto other titles, I tend to follow them.  I’m a BIG fan of the Greg Pak/Fred Van Lente duo.  I’m also a gigantic nerd for Dan Abnett/Andy Lanning duo.  So, I will follow them around everywhere they go.  I like them for different reasons.  I think Pak/Van Lente duo deliver on action and comedy like it’s nobody’s business.  And Abnett/Lanning delivers on Sci-Fi goodness that gives me a nerdgasm every time I read them.

ARTICLE: How Netflix lost its soul

To say I was disappointed when I heard news of what Netflix was intending to do with their pricing would be a grave understatement.  I was on the verge of anger issues that haven’t been seen since God flooded the earth and killed all of us heathens in one fell swoop.

Okay, that may be hyperbole, but the fact of the matter is I’m still pretty peeved.  So, if you haven’t heard, Netflix is essentially raising their prices to double their bank accounts each month.  They’ve decided to split their streaming service and their DVD/Blu-ray service into two different paying accounts.  Beginning September 1^st, Netflix will charge $7.99 a month for their streaming service and $7.99 a month for just 1 DVD rental at a time (with a $2 additional charge for Blu-ray).

EPISODE 6 - That Was My Balls, Dude!

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THIS WEEK'S TOPICS:

· Introductions
· What’s up : The Amazing Gordo’s poor explanation of his disappearance
· Junior and KC talk movies
· What are we drinking?
· Culture Blues 90s Bad Ass tournament continued
· What’s the best Rocky movie?
· What did we learn? (We learned nothing this week)
· What will the Amazing Gordo’s new name will be?

NOTES:

· Send in votes for Gordo’s new name to bewareofpodcast@gmail.com

CREDITS:

· "Rockout!" by Brothermaniac (Brothermaniac.net)
· "Huka Blues" by Harry Slash & the Slashtones from ECW: Extreme Music

Thanks for listening!

MOVIE REVIEW: Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011) *1/2

Review:
I don't hate "Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon." I don't like it…but I don't hate it. So far I've been less than impressed with all of the Transformers movies, mostly due to everything having to do with the humans. The humans are generally unlikable, and largely incompetent. They're also not real people, so there's nothing to really connect to as a viewer. They're just a bunch of one-note cartoon characters running around being loud and stupid. The CGI created Transformers seem much deeper and more real than the humans. It's a wonder Optimus Prime even bothers assisting the humans at all. If I were him, I'd join forces with Megatron and wipe this rock clean of any trace of we…the fleshy insect like creatures.


…


I've just been told that I need to write more, because one paragraph reviews are for pussies. Personally, I think padding succinct opinions for the sake of conveying some sort of idea that any "deep thought" went into the creation of a review is for pussies. Am I alone here?

COMIC REVIEW: Batman: Knight of Vengeance #2

I’m going to say this with all sincerity and not an ounce of snark or sarcasm. This comic is the reason why I read comics.


For the first time, in the Flash Point mini (minis) did I really read a story that felt like all bets were off and anything could go on this world. The whole point of Flashpoint is the butterfly effect of going back in time and see what would happen if… and of all the issues that has been published thus far, this one truly exemplifies what can be done with the perfect “What if” scenario. Even in the main Flashpoint series, nothing has made me go “OH SHIT!” and could not have been told in the modern DCU.

First teaser trailer for Walking Dead Season 2!

Ladies and gentlemen, the wait is down to four months, but here is the first taste, the morsel of cock teasing of Walking Dead season 2 teaser. Enjoy!

EPISODE 5 - Death of a Gordo

Last known photograph of The Amazing Gordo
right before disappearing from this week's show.

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THIS WEEK'S TOPICS:

• Gordo is 'Mexican' for Fatboy
• Introducing KC as a third chair
• What are we drinking?
• Movie Talk!
• Wrestling Talk (really!)
• Cultureblues.com The 90s Badass Tournament
• Gordo dies
• What did we learn?

NOTES:

• Forth Coming

CREDITS:

• "Rockout!" by Brothermaniac (Brothermaniac.net)
• "What's Up" by R-Truth from WWE Voices: The Music Vol. 9
• "Huka Blues" by Harry Slash & the Slashtones from ECW: Extreme Music

Thanks for listening!

MOVIE REVIEW: Buried (2010) ****

Review:
I'd like to start out this review by saying to writer Chris Sparking, director Rodrigo Cortes, and star Ryan Reynolds…"Hey guys, great movie. Now go fuck yourselves! You and your heart wrenching movie that has left me emotionally devastated worse than that time I stayed up too late and was reduced to a five gallon bucket of tears by that Operation Smile infomercial! Seriously, you guys are the worst. And by the worst, I mean the best. But you're still the fucking worst, okay! I hate you all…and I mean that in the best way possible."


So yeah, "Buried" is kind of like that.


Here's the premise: One man is dropped in a wooden box. That man is then buried somewhere in the Iraqi desert in 2006. That man is given a cellphone, a lighter, and a pencil. That man now has as much time as he has air to breathe to figure out why he's been buried alive, who put him there, and how the hell he's going to get out.