MOVIE REVIEW: Buried (2010) ****

Review:
I'd like to start out this review by saying to writer Chris Sparking, director Rodrigo Cortes, and star Ryan Reynolds…"Hey guys, great movie. Now go fuck yourselves! You and your heart wrenching movie that has left me emotionally devastated worse than that time I stayed up too late and was reduced to a five gallon bucket of tears by that Operation Smile infomercial! Seriously, you guys are the worst. And by the worst, I mean the best. But you're still the fucking worst, okay! I hate you all…and I mean that in the best way possible."


So yeah, "Buried" is kind of like that.


Here's the premise: One man is dropped in a wooden box. That man is then buried somewhere in the Iraqi desert in 2006. That man is given a cellphone, a lighter, and a pencil. That man now has as much time as he has air to breathe to figure out why he's been buried alive, who put him there, and how the hell he's going to get out.

MOVIE REVIEW: Green Lantern (2011) ***

Talk about your highly anticipated summer movies! I attended SDCC (San Diego Comic Con for the uninitiated) last year…that was July of 2010 for those keeping score at home…and found myself inundated with "Green Lantern" this, and "Green Lantern" that. I didn't read the comics, and always kind of thought the character (and the whole Green Lantern Corps. actually) were pretty dumb, so I didn't pay too much attention. I thought it was kind of cool to walk the floor and just see folks like Ryan Reynolds and Mark Strong hanging out, signing autographs…can only wonder what the experience was like for poor Blake Lively…all those overweight mouth breathers skittishly sliding photos of her over to get signed, too afraid to speak or make eye contact, because to gaze into the eyes of a beauty such as her would be to stare into the heart of the sun…


…or so I assume.