EPISODE 9

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THIS WEEK’S TOPICS:

•          KC and the Community Play “BIG”
•          Gordo and his drunken tirade on “Cowboys & Aliens”
•          Junior’s wife gets fixed after kicking him so many times
•         What are we drinking
•          Lightning round of News Bits for the Week

NOTES:

The unveiling of the Amazing Gordo’s new name: JPG -  Just Plain Gordo

CREDITS:

“Rock Out” by Brothermaniac (Brothermaniac.net)

“What’s up Doc” by Fu-Shnickens

“Huka Blues” by Harry Slash & The Slashtones from ECW: Extreme Music

MOVIE REVIEW: Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

Captain America: The First Avenger

Captain America: The First Avenger

A Film Review by David Gordon

Time.

Time is one of the most wonderful concepts that, as man, we have and can use at our leisurely expense.  There is thought that things get better with time, like wine.  Or, responding to an email immediately after you have been fueled with any kind of emotion like telling your boss to kiss off after she tells you, you need to be more mature and remember that there is a time and a place to say things.  See, if you just wait till the next day, you won’t send that emotionally fueled email.  You will have time to reflect.  Time to save your job.

Wait, where was I?  Oh yes, time.  And time is exactly what I needed to write this review after watching Captain America: The First Avenger.  Because, if you were reading this, this Saturday afternoon, you probably would have been reading a gushing review calling this movie the best comic book movie of all time.  It hit on all the sweet spots of what makes a great superhero movie.  Comedy, action, suspense, romance, wait… I’m getting off track.  This is what I was trying to avoid using time…

Don’t get me wrong.  Cap does all that and then some.  It was indeed a good movie.  But, with a little reflection, I can see the faults the movie has.  Maybe faults are too harsh of a word, but things I’m definitely nit picking on.

MOVIE REVIEW: True Grit

True Grit (2010)

A Film Review by Junior Bruce

I love me a good western.  Always have.  From watching Nobody make a living legend out of Jack Beauregard in "My Name is Nobody," to fantasizing about being an old west outlaw taking on the Murphy Gang alongside Billy the Kid in "Young Guns," westerns have made up a significant portion of my movie watching years.  So when something like "True Grit" comes lumbering down the trail, you know my goose-pimples are reaching for the sky like a rustler staring down the barrel of a Rooster Cogburn held pistol!

"True Grit" is a Coen Brothers remake of a classic starring John Wayne.  Of course, as of this writing, I've yet to see the original, so I can't (and won't) be making any comparisons.  What I will tell you, however, is that of the westerns that I have seen, this movie is one of the most authentic.  Not that I've spent a day in the old west, because time travel hasn't been invented yet, but if I had to hold one movie up as a mirror to match what I think is accurate, "True Grit" is getting the nod.

MOVIE REVIEW: Despicable Me (2010) ****

Review:

While it's true that Disney's Pixar has been setting the standard for great CGI films for more than a decade now, the thought of them being the only game in town when it comes to creating quality CGI product is slowly beginning to change.  In the last couple of years DreamWorks Animation has really been upping their game with films like "Kung Fu Panda," "How to Train Your Dragon," and "Megamind." And now Universal Animation Studios has officially thrown their hat into the ring with "Despicable Me." (Y'know, because everyone has forgotten about "The Tale of Despereaux," which is exactly how Universal wants it.)

"Despicable Me," is the story of Gru (voiced by Steve Carell), a gangly bald and black clad super-villain with dreams of being regarded as the world's greatest bad guy.  Unfortunately for Gru, he's somewhat inept.  It's not that he doesn't have the tools, because he does.  For starters he has the look down pat, he has his own army of loyal minions, he has an evil scientist down in the lab creating all he can dream up, hell…he's even got a weird Eastern European accent!  The one thing Gru doesn't possess, however, is the ability to think BIG.

After news breaks that a giant Egyptian Pyramid has been stolen, and replaced with a big inflatable one, Gru is met with pity from his evil scientist, Dr. Nefario (voiced by Russell Brand), and is mocked by his mother (voiced by Julie Andrews).  This certainly isn't the sort of treatment the world's greatest bad guy should receive!  But Gru has a plan to change all that: He's going to steal the moon!

MOVIE REVIEW: House of the Rising Sun (2011) **

Review:
Dave Bautista is about as good at acting as he is professional wrestling…he's great when just asked to stand around and look menacing, but if you ask him to talk or emote, you're asking too much.

"House of the Rising Sun" is the story of Ray (played by Bautista), a crooked cop who spent six years in prison before being hired as security at a brothel/illegal casino fronting as a nightclub upon his release.  One night, while Ray is covering the door for his buddy who no-showed his shift, a pack of shotgun toting thugs instruct him to lead them to the vault or he'll have to talk to the boom stick.  Ray, ever the cool cat, calmly leads the masked thugs to the vault…so calmly, no suspicions are aroused despite walking through a busy nightclub environment.  Anyway, the thugs get their money, but while Ray is leading them out, the owner's kid sees the thugs and proceeds to shout at the top of his lungs, "OMG! THEY'VE GOT SHOTGUNS!" (paraphrasing)

MOVIE REVIEW: Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011) *1/2

Review:
I don't hate "Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon." I don't like it…but I don't hate it. So far I've been less than impressed with all of the Transformers movies, mostly due to everything having to do with the humans. The humans are generally unlikable, and largely incompetent. They're also not real people, so there's nothing to really connect to as a viewer. They're just a bunch of one-note cartoon characters running around being loud and stupid. The CGI created Transformers seem much deeper and more real than the humans. It's a wonder Optimus Prime even bothers assisting the humans at all. If I were him, I'd join forces with Megatron and wipe this rock clean of any trace of we…the fleshy insect like creatures.


…


I've just been told that I need to write more, because one paragraph reviews are for pussies. Personally, I think padding succinct opinions for the sake of conveying some sort of idea that any "deep thought" went into the creation of a review is for pussies. Am I alone here?

EPISODE 5 - Death of a Gordo

Last known photograph of The Amazing Gordo
right before disappearing from this week's show.

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THIS WEEK'S TOPICS:

• Gordo is 'Mexican' for Fatboy
• Introducing KC as a third chair
• What are we drinking?
• Movie Talk!
• Wrestling Talk (really!)
• Cultureblues.com The 90s Badass Tournament
• Gordo dies
• What did we learn?

NOTES:

• Forth Coming

CREDITS:

• "Rockout!" by Brothermaniac (Brothermaniac.net)
• "What's Up" by R-Truth from WWE Voices: The Music Vol. 9
• "Huka Blues" by Harry Slash & the Slashtones from ECW: Extreme Music

Thanks for listening!

MOVIE REVIEW: Buried (2010) ****

Review:
I'd like to start out this review by saying to writer Chris Sparking, director Rodrigo Cortes, and star Ryan Reynolds…"Hey guys, great movie. Now go fuck yourselves! You and your heart wrenching movie that has left me emotionally devastated worse than that time I stayed up too late and was reduced to a five gallon bucket of tears by that Operation Smile infomercial! Seriously, you guys are the worst. And by the worst, I mean the best. But you're still the fucking worst, okay! I hate you all…and I mean that in the best way possible."


So yeah, "Buried" is kind of like that.


Here's the premise: One man is dropped in a wooden box. That man is then buried somewhere in the Iraqi desert in 2006. That man is given a cellphone, a lighter, and a pencil. That man now has as much time as he has air to breathe to figure out why he's been buried alive, who put him there, and how the hell he's going to get out.

MOVIE REVIEW: Green Lantern (2011) ***

Talk about your highly anticipated summer movies! I attended SDCC (San Diego Comic Con for the uninitiated) last year…that was July of 2010 for those keeping score at home…and found myself inundated with "Green Lantern" this, and "Green Lantern" that. I didn't read the comics, and always kind of thought the character (and the whole Green Lantern Corps. actually) were pretty dumb, so I didn't pay too much attention. I thought it was kind of cool to walk the floor and just see folks like Ryan Reynolds and Mark Strong hanging out, signing autographs…can only wonder what the experience was like for poor Blake Lively…all those overweight mouth breathers skittishly sliding photos of her over to get signed, too afraid to speak or make eye contact, because to gaze into the eyes of a beauty such as her would be to stare into the heart of the sun…


…or so I assume.

MOVIE REVIEW: Hobo with a Shotgun (2011)

Before I share my thoughts on "Hobo with a Shotgun," let's get a little history out of the way first. Back in 2007, moviemakers Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino joined forces to deliver unto the world "Grindhouse," a double-feature of modern day tales told in a raw 70's exploitation style. "Grindhouse" was a love letter to the sorts of films that Rodriguez and Tarantino grew up loving, as well as the sleazy mom and pop theaters they saw them in. One of the unique elements of "Grindhouse" was its inclusion of fake trailers for other exploitation films of that era, made by a couple of today's hip young directors. While promoting "Grindhouse," Rodriguez created a competition for indy and amateur filmmakers to create their own fake trailers for 70's exploitation movies…the winner of which was, "Hobo with a Shotgun." I remember being blown away by how raw, gritty, hyper violent, and authentic looking it was…as if the reel had been unearthed from a time capsule buried in 1977. But don't take my word for it, have a look for yourself…

EPISODE 3 - Richard Grieco's Dildo of Death

Richard Grieco's Giant Dildo of Death
(as seen in "The Almighty Thor")

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THIS WEEK'S TOPICS:

What are we drinking?

Epic Weight Loss Challenge of 2011 Update

What's up with us?

Movies: Green Lantern, The King's Speech, True Grit, Almighty Thor

5 Questions w/ "The All-Knowing" Earl the Magnificent

What we learned on this week's show.

NOTES:

During the Green Lantern movie talk, The Amazing Gordo refer's to the Guardians as the Guardians' of the Galaxy. He's an idiot.

Junior Bruce calls their new segment, "5 Questions w/" "5 Minutes w/"...he's an idiot too.

It's obvious that the newly declared war against "Y'know" is going to be a long hard battle. We clearly failed this week. We are going to regroup and attempt a victory next week.

CREDITS:

"Rockout!" by Brothermaniac (Brothermaniac.net)

"What's Up" by R-Truth from WWE Voices: The Music Vol. 9

"Que Pasa?" by JoEL the BARbarian (Official Website)

"Huka Blues" by Harry Slash & the Slashtones from ECW: Extreme Music

EPIC WEIGHT LOSS CHALLENGE STATS:

Junior Bruce's Week 2 Weigh-In: 333 lbs.

The Amazing Gordo's Week 2 Weigh-In: 258 lbs.

Thanks for listening!

MOVIE REVIEW: Trollhunter (2010)

Let's get one thing straight right now: "Trollhunter" is an amazing film. There is absolutely no doubt about that. If you ever run across someone who happens to have an opinion about this particular film that is contrary to that initial statement…which is really more of a fact than anything…my recommendation is to deliver a swift slap across their face, and then leave them to wallow in their shame. I'd even go as far as to suggest un-friending them on Facebook, un-following them on Twitter, and un-inviting them to your Christmas dinner party, because they don't deserve to be in your life.

Yes, even if that person is your mother.

So now that we've thoroughly established that "Trollhunter" is an amazing film, let's now establish just what "Trollhunter" is all about. For one, it's presented in an expertly done documentary format. This means you're going to get a lot of weird camera angles as people flee from giant unseen things in the woods, but it's okay, because you'll eventually get to see some really cool shots of said things later on, which will utterly blow your mind. Actually, where many (if not most) filmmakers would employ the documentary style to a film dealing with supernaturalish subjects so they can imply damn near everything with smoke and mirrors (a la "The Blair Witch Project" or "Paranormal Activity") "Trollhunter" almost dares itself to train the camera on the trolls as much as it can, defying the faux-documentary filmmaking tradition.


The film begins with reports of bear poaching in the Norwegian countryside. A trio of filmmakers/college students band together to investigate the matter. Their efforts eventually lead them to a mysterious, and stinky fellow named Hans (Otto Jespersen), who wants little to do with them. Refusing to leave, the students follow Hans deep into the woods and discover something they thought only to be found in fairy tales: Trolls…do…exist!

The rest of the film is spent getting to know Hans, what he does for the secret government agency known as the TST (Troll Security Service), learning about the different types of trolls including types, how they die, how long they live, and so on. Some of the best stuff is when Hans is giving his reasons for eventually allowing the students to follow him basically citing how the pay sucks, he gets no overtime, and it's just a grueling thankless job altogether. Shit, I can relate to that!

The more the students learn about the trolls, the more serious they become about wanting to get the story. And after they find themselves backed into a corner where the dangers of troll hunting become very real (and costly), it becomes less about getting the story and more about fulfilling a personal mission.


Filled with great special effects, performances, and expert camerawork, "Trollhunter" is a genuine thrill ride that will only disappoint you in that it had to end. I walked away from the film feeling like I could have spent another couple of hours riding along with Hans, learning more of his history as a troll hunter, and more of the secrets the TST is trying to cover up.

Here's hoping for a sequel!

VERDICT: LOVED IT!

Official Site | Studio Site | IMDb Page