MOVIE REVIEW: Green Lantern (2011) ***

Talk about your highly anticipated summer movies! I attended SDCC (San Diego Comic Con for the uninitiated) last year…that was July of 2010 for those keeping score at home…and found myself inundated with "Green Lantern" this, and "Green Lantern" that. I didn't read the comics, and always kind of thought the character (and the whole Green Lantern Corps. actually) were pretty dumb, so I didn't pay too much attention. I thought it was kind of cool to walk the floor and just see folks like Ryan Reynolds and Mark Strong hanging out, signing autographs…can only wonder what the experience was like for poor Blake Lively…all those overweight mouth breathers skittishly sliding photos of her over to get signed, too afraid to speak or make eye contact, because to gaze into the eyes of a beauty such as her would be to stare into the heart of the sun…


…or so I assume.

MOVIE REVIEW: Hobo with a Shotgun (2011)

Before I share my thoughts on "Hobo with a Shotgun," let's get a little history out of the way first. Back in 2007, moviemakers Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino joined forces to deliver unto the world "Grindhouse," a double-feature of modern day tales told in a raw 70's exploitation style. "Grindhouse" was a love letter to the sorts of films that Rodriguez and Tarantino grew up loving, as well as the sleazy mom and pop theaters they saw them in. One of the unique elements of "Grindhouse" was its inclusion of fake trailers for other exploitation films of that era, made by a couple of today's hip young directors. While promoting "Grindhouse," Rodriguez created a competition for indy and amateur filmmakers to create their own fake trailers for 70's exploitation movies…the winner of which was, "Hobo with a Shotgun." I remember being blown away by how raw, gritty, hyper violent, and authentic looking it was…as if the reel had been unearthed from a time capsule buried in 1977. But don't take my word for it, have a look for yourself…

EPISODE 4 - A Midsummer Night's Movie Preview

"Hey look, it's the incredibly unattractive Olivia Wilde
doing her best Borg Queen pose!" - Junior

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THIS WEEK'S TOPICS:

Beware of Podcast Theatre

What are we drinking?

Junior's car troubles with Carmax.

Our almost Midsummer Movie Preview!

Olivia Wilde: Hot or Not?

What did we learn?

NOTES:

N/A

CREDITS:

"Rockout!" by Brothermaniac (Brothermaniac.net)

"What's Up" by R-Truth from WWE Voices: The Music Vol. 9

"These are the Quotes from our Favorite 80's Movies" by Bouncing Souls (Official Website)

"Huka Blues" by Harry Slash & the Slashtones from ECW: Extreme Music

EPIC WEIGHT LOSS CHALLENGE STATS:

Junior Bruce's Starting Weight: 336 lbs. Week 3 Weigh-In: 328 lbs. Lost to date: 8 lbs.

The Amazing Gordo's Starting Weight: 261 Week 3 Weigh-In: 255 lbs. Lost to date: 6 lbs.

Thanks for listening!

EPISODE 3 - Richard Grieco's Dildo of Death

Richard Grieco's Giant Dildo of Death
(as seen in "The Almighty Thor")

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THIS WEEK'S TOPICS:

What are we drinking?

Epic Weight Loss Challenge of 2011 Update

What's up with us?

Movies: Green Lantern, The King's Speech, True Grit, Almighty Thor

5 Questions w/ "The All-Knowing" Earl the Magnificent

What we learned on this week's show.

NOTES:

During the Green Lantern movie talk, The Amazing Gordo refer's to the Guardians as the Guardians' of the Galaxy. He's an idiot.

Junior Bruce calls their new segment, "5 Questions w/" "5 Minutes w/"...he's an idiot too.

It's obvious that the newly declared war against "Y'know" is going to be a long hard battle. We clearly failed this week. We are going to regroup and attempt a victory next week.

CREDITS:

"Rockout!" by Brothermaniac (Brothermaniac.net)

"What's Up" by R-Truth from WWE Voices: The Music Vol. 9

"Que Pasa?" by JoEL the BARbarian (Official Website)

"Huka Blues" by Harry Slash & the Slashtones from ECW: Extreme Music

EPIC WEIGHT LOSS CHALLENGE STATS:

Junior Bruce's Week 2 Weigh-In: 333 lbs.

The Amazing Gordo's Week 2 Weigh-In: 258 lbs.

Thanks for listening!

FEATURE: Louis C.K. on Father's Day

Sure the video is a year old, but the words...the words man...those are timeless!

Happy Father's Day!

COMIC REVIEW: Quick Hit List Week June 15

Wonder Woman and the Furies #1

This was a really good book for what it is. Unlike the Legion of Doom, Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning did a wonderful job of making this story feel like it was set in a different universe and set a mood/setting that I am eagerly awaiting in the second issue. I completely understood the story and the doom and gloom of Arthur’s and Diana’s subjects. Again, my only complaint is that because this is a limited series, they had to rush the story, but did a spot on job explaining everything and giving the story life.

(Side note: I did have to do a double take when I saw the title… For a moment I thought it said WW and the Furries and thought for sure this book was going somewhere very not mainstream)

Verdict: Liked It

Deadman and the Flying Graysons #1

I know J.T. Krul gets a lot of hate in the fan boy realm, but this particular part of the Flashpoint Universe was marvelous! It did a good job showing the different characterization between Dick Grayson (not quite Robin or Nightwing yet) and Boston Brand (Deadman). Boston thinks that Dick can be even a greater entertainer but is being held back by his parents. Dick disagrees and thinks he is as good as he is because of his parents love.

The story also shows that even circus folk, trying to make a living in this world war between the Amazons and the Atlanteans and being stuck in Europe, can be entertaining. To round out the cast of characters, the Freak Show consists of Dr. Fate, King Shark (is a shark), and Rag Doll couple. I can only imagine what the all out battle be like with the Amazons.

Verdict: Liked It

Sonic Universe #29

This is a cute and quirky book for kids. There is nothing original or mind blowing about the story, but it does enough to entertain. It reads a lot like a Saturday morning cartoon, and with all the other doom and gloom books I read, a nice distraction every now and then.

Verdict: Meh

Alpha Flight #1

This book is pretty damn good. Fred Van Lente and Greg Pak are right at the top of my favorite comic book writers. On some level, I think I share the same sense of humor because I’ve never once been disappointed by any of the books. Alpha Flight is picking up right where they left off on the other books they write together. The story is knee deep in the Fear Itself miniseries going on right now in Marvel, but these two do such a well job constructing and telling this story, it doesn’t feel like they are stuck with telling an EVENT story but telling a story they want to tell. I really love how they are setting it up for all of Canada. Go out and buy this book. It’s funny, action pack and it makes you think. It hits just right on all the parts of what makes a book GOOD.

Verdict: LOVED IT

COMIC REVIEW: Legion of Doom #1

So, I can’t begin to tell you my disappointment when I opened up the miniseries Legion of Doom and discovered that Road Warrior Hawk and Animal were NOT within the pages. In my yearning for another Warrior (that is the Ultimate Warrior) like crazy comic, I was more than disappointed.

Okay, that may be hyperbole because I knew damn well this was not a wrestling comic book, but that still doesn’t change my thoughts that this was a not so good comic. I’m actually struggling sitting here trying to come up with anything worthwhile to type. Instead of a play by play and reliving more boredom and *snore*…..

Sorry about that. At any rate, the story (as told by Adam Glass) doesn’t make a lot of sense and as part of the Flashpoint Universe; it fails to add anything of worth to this new world. This story could have very well taken place in the current DCU.

The story starts off showing how inept Heatwave really is, yet by the end of the comic, we’re supposed to be convinced that he is worthy of a three issue miniseries? Sorry, not buying it. The dialogue was a mess and really hokey at times and mostly filler. We didn’t learn anything, and the entire middle part of the story could have been scrapped and a cooler idea brought to the table.

The art by Rodney Buchemi was really lack lust er. Well, it was adequate. I’m guessing with all these miniseries and getting the book out on time with the big September news, it’s bound to happen. But the artist definitely seemed to be going through the motions with this story. I know I’d be bored drawing this script if it was handed to me.

The only thing that saved this comic happened on the last two pages was really bad ass. I guess a decent enough hook to have the old David (who was a victim of being a completionist) to buy issue two. But, in this day and age, I have learned better and I’ll spend that money elsewhere.

Lastly, is it sad to say I had more fun reading the B. Clay Moore Justice League/Subway commercial comic inside starring Michael Strahan, Justin Tuck and Ndamukong Suh? Not to mention that I was a victim of perfect advertising by the sweetness of the DC characters on Chuck Taylor Converses.

Verdict: Hated It

FEATURE: Kiddie Porn

Never buy kiddie porn unless you're ABSOLUTELY SURE the source is legit.

Uh...

I mean NEVER EVER buy kiddie porn! I mean NEVER!

FEATURE: Miami-Dade County: Sex Offender Shuffle

Sam Pound and I have something in common: We both own that same red jacket...and glasses...and rhythm. But I am not...I REPEAT...NOT a sex offender.

Nobody has ever been able to prove anything.

Thank you.

EPISODE 2 - The Amazing Gordo the Full on Rapist

I'm Aquaman!

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THIS WEEK'S TOPICS:

What are we drinking?

What's up with us?

Movies & Comics feat. special guest Aquaman

A rant about Gordo being old, and today's kids being total pussies.

The Top 3 Battle: Better excuses Congressman Anthony Weiner should have used to explain his Twitter scandal.

What we learned on this week's show.

Epic Weight Loss Challenge of 2011 Update

What we'd do with the Insanity Workout Shirt

The secret to Gordon Birsch Brewmaster's success.

NOTES:

The Aquaman bit goes on for 10 minutes. If it gets old, just skip ahead. We thought it was funny at the time.

The cold open bit before the intro song is an example of the idiocy Junior and Gordo get into before the show officially starts. It pertains to nothing other than how utterly dumb we are.

The end of the show is very long, but we thought it to funny not to include in its entirety.

Want to vote on a winner for the Top 3 Best Battle? You can comment here, or send an email to bewareofpodcast@gmail.com

Have a Top 3 Best List of your own? You can comment here, or send an email to bewareofpodcast@gmail.com

CREDITS:

"Rockout!" by Brothermaniac (Brothermaniac.net)

"What's Up" by R-Truth from WWE Voices: The Music Vol. 9

"Huka Blues" by Harry Slash & the Slashtones from ECW: Extreme Music

EPIC WEIGHT LOSS CHALLENGE STATS:

Junior Bruce's Week 1 Weigh-In: 336 lbs.

The Amazing Gordo's Week 1 Weigh-In: 261 lbs.

Thanks for listening!

COMIC REVIEW: Frankenstein and the Creatures of the Unknown #1

I only need to tell you this one line from Frankenstein and the Creatures of the Unknown to explain exactly how bad ass this comic is. “These ‘men’ will soon feel the sweet kiss of the archangel Michael’s cold blade across their rodent necks.”

With the recent news that DC is re-launching their entire line up in September, one of the titles that has piqued my interest is Frankenstein, Agent of SHADE, a book being written by none other than Sweet Tooth scribe, Jeff Lemire. I’m going to sadly admit that I have not read Sweet Tooth. I have however, have heard a lot of good things about it. So, when I saw that Jeff Lemire was writing the Frankenstein Flash Point story, I jumped on it to see if I would like the new book come September.

And boy, am I glad I did.

Jeff Lemire masterfully weaves a tale in twenty pages that has Frankenstein being revived (there is evil in the world) and then being recruited by the Americans to help kill Nazis. He then becomes part of the , Creatures of the Unknown. In the span of twenty pages Frankenstein leads the creatures into Germany, kicks more ass than any one man should and falls victim to a horrible twist. And despite all that action, Jeff still had enough time to flesh out enough characterization for me to actually care about them and left me desperately wanting to see what happens in issue two.
Creature Commandos, Challengers of the Unknown

The artist, Ibraim Roberson, does a fantastic job on this book. Considering that the book is based on a rag tag group of monsters (werewolf, creature of the lagoon, bat like vampire and of course, Frankenstein) Ibraim does a great job of showing human emotion on their faces. I fell so instantly in love with his art on this book that it is somewhat disappointing that he won’t be on the ongoing title come September. So, I’ll be enjoying the rest of his run on this mini series.

My only complaint on the book was because the story is set in an alternate reality, we’re not going to get the ‘full’ story. This is a universe that I’d love to see more of, but I know it’s going to end. So, the pacing is going to be fast. I’d love to see a fully fleshed out world, but they have a story to tell. Again, this is a very minor complaint.

Verdict: LOVED IT!

MOVIE REVIEW: Trollhunter (2010)

Let's get one thing straight right now: "Trollhunter" is an amazing film. There is absolutely no doubt about that. If you ever run across someone who happens to have an opinion about this particular film that is contrary to that initial statement…which is really more of a fact than anything…my recommendation is to deliver a swift slap across their face, and then leave them to wallow in their shame. I'd even go as far as to suggest un-friending them on Facebook, un-following them on Twitter, and un-inviting them to your Christmas dinner party, because they don't deserve to be in your life.

Yes, even if that person is your mother.

So now that we've thoroughly established that "Trollhunter" is an amazing film, let's now establish just what "Trollhunter" is all about. For one, it's presented in an expertly done documentary format. This means you're going to get a lot of weird camera angles as people flee from giant unseen things in the woods, but it's okay, because you'll eventually get to see some really cool shots of said things later on, which will utterly blow your mind. Actually, where many (if not most) filmmakers would employ the documentary style to a film dealing with supernaturalish subjects so they can imply damn near everything with smoke and mirrors (a la "The Blair Witch Project" or "Paranormal Activity") "Trollhunter" almost dares itself to train the camera on the trolls as much as it can, defying the faux-documentary filmmaking tradition.


The film begins with reports of bear poaching in the Norwegian countryside. A trio of filmmakers/college students band together to investigate the matter. Their efforts eventually lead them to a mysterious, and stinky fellow named Hans (Otto Jespersen), who wants little to do with them. Refusing to leave, the students follow Hans deep into the woods and discover something they thought only to be found in fairy tales: Trolls…do…exist!

The rest of the film is spent getting to know Hans, what he does for the secret government agency known as the TST (Troll Security Service), learning about the different types of trolls including types, how they die, how long they live, and so on. Some of the best stuff is when Hans is giving his reasons for eventually allowing the students to follow him basically citing how the pay sucks, he gets no overtime, and it's just a grueling thankless job altogether. Shit, I can relate to that!

The more the students learn about the trolls, the more serious they become about wanting to get the story. And after they find themselves backed into a corner where the dangers of troll hunting become very real (and costly), it becomes less about getting the story and more about fulfilling a personal mission.


Filled with great special effects, performances, and expert camerawork, "Trollhunter" is a genuine thrill ride that will only disappoint you in that it had to end. I walked away from the film feeling like I could have spent another couple of hours riding along with Hans, learning more of his history as a troll hunter, and more of the secrets the TST is trying to cover up.

Here's hoping for a sequel!

VERDICT: LOVED IT!

Official Site | Studio Site | IMDb Page

EPISODE 1 - One Word: Tapioca Pudding

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TO DOWNLOAD: Right Click and Save As...

CLICK HERE FOR THE SHOW
THIS WEEK'S TOPICS:

The 1st Annual Epic Weight Loss Challenge

DC Comics Universe Reboot

A Father's Day Rant

The Amazing Gordo's Blown PSA

The Top 3 Best Battle: Items We'd Want at the Start of the Zombie Apocalypse

What We Learned on This Week's Show

NOTES:

Epic Weight Loss Challenge stats will be posted with Episode 2.

We're looking for ways to improve The Amazing Gordo's audio. Open to any and all suggestions! We're noobs at this stuff.

Hearing any tinks or clangs during the show? You're not crazy. Junior was playing with a nail clipper for part of the show. He promises to leave the nail clipper alone from now on.

Want to vote on a winner for the Top 3 Best Battle? You can comment here, or send an email to bewareofpodcast@gmail.com

Have a Top 3 Best List of your own? You can comment here, or send an email to bewareofpodcast@gmail.com

CREDITS:

"Black Shuck" by The Darkness from Permission to Land

"Speaking from the Heart" by "Macho Man" Randy Savage from Wrestlemania: The Album

"Sailor Moon Gives Tuxedo Mask a Blowjob" by Unknown

"Huka Blues" by Harry Slash & the Slashtones from ECW: Extreme Music

Thanks for listening!